


Rising Shadows

by BlackHunter666



Category: REILLY Matthew - Works, Scarecrow Series - Matthew Reilly
Genre: Acute Retinal Dystrophy, Blindness, Growing Darkness, M/M, Nightmares, Trying to Cope
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 13:32:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6987100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlackHunter666/pseuds/BlackHunter666
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aloysius has known this was coming for years, he's been keeping track and making preparations but now that it's here, he's scared and he's angry. He's not ready for this, no matter how much time he's spent preparing for this, he's still not ready to lose everything. He knew it was coming and it's still a huge shock. Two years isn't a long time but it's all he's got left. Two years to fulfil his bucket list before his world goes dark forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Nightmare Scenario

Rufus knew from past experience that the next week or so wasn't going to be much fun. He'd learnt that lesson the first time it had happened and now tended to hang back and let Aloysius rage for a few days before trying to offer any support. He hated seeing Aloysius struggling but sometimes it was safer to step back and let him stumble and make a mess before sweeping in to get him back on track. It never lasted long, a few days at most but it was always shocking.

Shaking his head to clear the dark thoughts, Rufus went back to the meal he was preparing, hoping to have everything ready before Aloysius got back from his appointments. Hopefully a good home cooked meal would put Aloysius in a better mood and save on their furniture. Aloysius was always in a frightful mood after these appointments.

But no matter how bad Aloysius' moods, Rufus knew he would never take the safe option and simply walk away. He would always be there to welcome Aloysius home and would be ready to offer a comforting shoulder when Aloysius needed him. But even so, Rufus wished that he didn't have to put up with these savage mood swings every time.

He knew it wouldn't really help, he'd been through enough close calls to no longer believe as he once had but Rufus had still pulled out the necklace his father had given him so long ago and he added to as required. At first it had only had two saint medallions hanging from it, Saint Christopher and Saint Michael. But now it rattled with seventeen different saint medallions, most of them gifts from Aloysius to say sorry for another outburst. Even if it didn't really help with the situation, Rufus felt better with the heavy gold chain around his neck, the medallions clinking and rattling softly as he moved.

Table set and everything ready for the meal, Rufus was just starting to put the dishes on the table when the front door opened and Aloysius stalked inside, slamming the door with a loud bang. Stepping out of the kitchen with the main dish, Rufus neatly sidestepped Aloysius and put the platter on the table.  
'I made your favourite.' Rufus offered, keeping his eyes down as he turned to Aloysius.  
'I don't want anything.' Aloysius replied, ignoring the spread on the table.  
'Fine, I'll put it in the fridge for later.' Rufus sighed, gathering up the steaming vegetables and starting back towards the kitchen.

Rufus never even saw it coming, one minute he was heading for the kitchen and the next he was on the floor, slumped back against the table with blood dripping from his nose. Looking up in shock, he stared at Aloysius in disbelief. He'd hardly moved but there was blood all over his right knuckles. Hanging his head, Rufus couldn't help the tears that welled up. He was hurting and it wasn't just because he'd been hit like that.

Leaving the ruins of the meal scattered over the table and on the floor, he scrambled to his feet and fled, shoving past Aloysius and disappearing into the bathroom. He knew Aloysius could be volatile, everyone that knew Aloysius was aware he had a temper but they also knew that Aloysius was devoted to Rufus, doing everything to keep him safe. None of them would suspect that Aloysius would off and punch Rufus over nothing.

Washing his face and taking a seat on the edge of the tub, Rufus tipped his head back and tried to be patient but right now, he just wanted to grab his emergency pack and run. He cared about Aloysius but he wasn't willing to face his violence. It was too much of a reminder of the life he'd tried so hard to leave behind.

-)=+=+=(-

Looking at his bloodied knuckles, Aloysius swore and sagged to the floor, looking at the remnants of the meal he'd ruined. It wasn't Rufus' fault; he'd been trying so hard to make things better since he knew it was that time of the year again. But instead of accepting what was being given and saving his anger for later, Aloysius had lashed out at his best friend.

Hanging his head, Aloysius felt like such a coward. Every other year he could slap a smile on and pretend like things were okay until he was alone and could explode without doing anyone any harm. But this year he hadn't been able to fight the fear and anger welling up in his chest. This year he'd been too weak to admit that he couldn't handle this alone anymore.

Scrubbing at his cheeks, he found his feet and started to clean up the mess, listening for any signs of movement from the back of the apartment. There was a big chance Rufus would try to run, he'd been through so much and now Aloysius had given him a reminder of the man he used to be - a victim. Rufus would likely do what he always used to do but Aloysius hoped to stop him before this little incident was blown all out of proportion.

Salvaging what he could of the meal Rufus had so lovingly prepared and cooked to perfection, Aloysius only felt worse about what he'd done. Rufus forgave him for so many of his faults but he feared that this time he'd crossed a line with the bigger man. There was a huge chance that the trust Aloysius had built with Rufus would be completely destroyed by his stupidity.

Picking shards of broken crockery out of the carpet and not caring about the cuts all over his hands and knees, Aloysius didn't know how to fix it this time. Any other time he'd screwed up and made Rufus hurt in one way or another, he would apologise, add another charm to the saintly necklace Rufus owned and donate generously to any charity of Rufus' choice. That wouldn't be enough though, not this time.

Recognising some of the shards he was picking up, Aloysius could have screamed. Rufus had gone all out to make the meal perfect, even going so far as to pull out the bone china set they'd designed themselves. Now it was in pieces, their hard effort destroyed in one careless moment that never should have happened.

Finding a large shard of one of the dinner plates, Aloysius picked it up and gazed at the crest they'd put together to honour their friendship. They'd gone to an expert on the subject of heraldry and combined their old family crests to create something uniquely theirs. They also settled on a motto to go underneath the crest, searching out the best Latin translation to give it a good feel.

Realising that maybe he had a chance to win Rufus back with one heartfelt gesture, Aloysius got to his feet and put the crest shard on the table before starting to dig through the broken pieces to find the other bits he wanted. Finding the broken pieces that fitted around the crest fragment, he set it all on the table, reassembling the pieces to create the full design.

Using two of the napkins, now stained with his blood, Aloysius propped the plate back together, hoping Rufus understood what he was trying to say. There was blood on the china as well, smeared and streaked where Aloysius had touched the shattered pieces. He made sure to position it where Rufus couldn't miss it as he headed for the door; he had to get the message across before Rufus fled.

Setting a key on the plate and positioning it so Rufus couldn't miss it; Aloysius reached into his pocket and pulled out a folded sheet of paper, setting it on the plate as well. Adding to the show of sorrow and purposefully choosing to put his safety in Rufus hands, he slipped his glasses off and closed the arms before setting them on the plate as well.

Rufus would understand but Aloysius couldn't be sure of the reaction this pitiful display would get. Turning quickly, he fled to the spare bedroom to wait and hope that Rufus got his message and understood what he was trying to say. There was nothing else he could do.

-)=+=+=(-

Backpack on his shoulder, Rufus slipped out of their bedroom quietly, still listening for any hint of where Aloysius was hiding. He'd heard the other bedroom door close but Aloysius had been quiet for the last twenty minutes. Chest tight with fear and worry, Rufus headed down the corridor towards the main living area, still expecting Aloysius to try and corner him.

It felt so wrong to be walking away after everything they'd endured together but Rufus refused to be victimised again. Logically he knew that Aloysius was different to the bullies back in the day but it stung that even in a fit of rage, Aloysius could raise a hand to him.

Attention drawn to the display on the dining table, Rufus frowned and turned, walking over to look at the plate so carefully put back together and smeared with fresh blood. He saw the sunglasses and the key and he knew what Aloysius was saying without a word ever passing between them. Rufus knew because he'd seen this sign from Aloysius before.

The folded sheet of paper was different though, usually if Aloysius left him a note it would be left unfolded so Rufus knew exactly what it was. Putting the glasses and the key down, he picked up the page and unfolded it, eyes scanning the letter quickly. This one page explained everything and Rufus didn't like it one bit.

Grabbing Aloysius' glasses and the key off the table, Rufus dropped his bag and bolted back towards the spare bedroom, his instinct to flee the trouble forgotten now that he understood why Aloysius was so angry this time around. Knowing that the door to the spare bedroom would be locked from the inside, Rufus didn't hesitate to kick it open, they would deal with it later.

Dropping to his knees at the foot of the bed, Rufus gently tipped Aloysius' face up, wiping away tears that Aloysius couldn't stop. Shuffling closer, Rufus reached around and unlocked the cuffs holding Aloysius to the bed and drew him into a firm embrace, holding tight as Aloysius sobbed brokenly, the news too much for him to handle.  
'I'm sorry; I didn't mean to lash out.' Aloysius choked, latching onto Rufus and pressing close.  
'I'm sorry too; I should have been paying more attention.' Rufus nodded, shifting to lean against the bed and cradle Aloysius in his lap. 'I should have pushed you to tell me about this.'  
'I'm not ready for this.' Aloysius uttered, trying to get even closer to Rufus. 'There's still so much I haven't seen yet.'  
'Shh, we'll handle it together. We'll get through this, we always manage.' Rufus soothed, ignoring his own discomfort to enfold Aloysius in his strength and keep him safe. This was more the usual behaviour after the yearly appointments; Aloysius would turn into a nervous mess and be grateful to have dodged the bullet for another year.

Holding on tight and lightly rubbing Aloysius' back, Rufus listened to his broken words and offered freely of his comfort; shaken by the news Aloysius had been given. They'd known this day would come, Aloysius had been expecting it for years but to finally be confronted by it was terrifying. Soon their lives would have to change and neither was ready for that.

Slowly Aloysius went quiet, still clutching desperately to Rufus. Pressing closer and tucking his head under Rufus' chin, Aloysius eventually fell asleep, mentally exhausted after a day of shocks and pain. Sleep would do him good, even if it only recharged his body enough for him to have another breakdown later.

Adjusting the way he was holding Aloysius, Rufus eased to his feet and padded back to their bedroom. Trying hard not to wake him, Rufus set him down on the bed and wriggled out of his shirt, smiling softly as Aloysius bundled the shirt to his chest and sighed in his sleep. Working the blankets down, Rufus tucked him in and went to retrieve his bag from where he'd left it.

Unpacking the few extra things he'd put in his emergency bag, Rufus threw the still half full backpack into the top of their shared wardrobe again before climbing into bed and curling up around Aloysius, holding him close and watching him sleep. The words of the letter still rattled in Rufus' mind, cold and efficient as they tore apart everything Aloysius had dreamt of doing.

Two years wasn't long, not in comparison to everything they'd done since they first became friends. Twenty-four months, 104 weeks, it didn't matter how Rufus broke it down in his mind, it still wasn't long enough. In two years Aloysius would be thirty-eight and, if the report was accurate, legally blind. There was a small chance that he would still have some impaired vision but never enough for him to be able to continue as if nothing had changed.

Figuring that it couldn't really hurt, Rufus sat up a little and unhooked the heavy gold chain he wore, the saintly medallions clinking softly as he slipped the precious necklace around Aloysius' neck and fastened it there. If nothing else, the presence of the necklace might just prove that he wasn't going to abandon Aloysius to his fate.

-)=+=+=(-

Waking a few hours later, Aloysius shifted a little and heard the soft rattle of something around his neck. Reaching up, he touched the heavy chain and brushed his fingers over the medallions, a faint smile crossing his face as he realised what Rufus had done.  
'Feel any better?' Rufus asked, stroking his back slowly.  
'I'm still scared but I do feel a little more positive.' Aloysius nodded, snuggling closer and enjoying the warmth of his lover. 'I didn't hurt you, did I?'  
'I'll have a bit of a black eye and a swollen nose for a few days but I'm fine.' Rufus soothed, reaching into his pocket for Aloysius' glasses and putting them on the bed head where they belonged. 'I was more shocked that you did that. But after reading that report, I'm not surprised.'  
'I still shouldn't have done it.' Aloysius sighed, pulling back a little. 'I'm sorry.'  
'You already apologised, its okay. I know what you're capable of, a few facial bruises is a minor issue.' Rufus chuckled, allowing Aloysius to grab his glasses and slip them on. 'You kept muttering apologies in your sleep.'

Looking up at Rufus, Aloysius flinched at the developing bruise Rufus was now sporting. Right across his nose and into the corners of both eyes, he was already going a very unattractive shade of black. By the time it finished spreading, it was going to look horrible but Aloysius knew it could have been worse. He had been in such a foul mood; he could have easily pummelled Rufus into a bloody pulp.

Wriggling out of Rufus' grasp, Aloysius sat up and hugged his knees, still thinking about what was coming for him. Two years didn't leave him a lot of time to do so many of the things he'd wanted to do but there wasn't much point in doing those things if he couldn't see the beauty around him. They would just have to cram in as much as they could over the next two years before he was robbed of his sight completely.

Trembling faintly as he sat there, Aloysius considered the other things he needed to think about right now. Planning for the next couple of years was important but he felt like he needed to tell some of his friends that he was facing this new challenge. At least then it wouldn't be such a huge shock for them when he lost his sight slowly.

Slumping into the warmth at his back, Aloysius looked up and closed his eyes as Rufus lightly wiped his cheeks, brushing away tears that wouldn't stop falling. Aloysius still feared losing his sight completely but having Rufus' support made it easier to face the reality of his life.  
'You sure you still want to head to Mother's tomorrow?' Rufus asked, wrapping his arms around Aloysius' chest.  
'Yeah, I should tell them this is coming.' Aloysius nodded, turning his head to catch a soft kiss.  
'You've still got time, are you sure you want to rush it?' Rufus pushed, resting their heads together and rocking slowly.  
'I had a lot of things I wanted to see before I lost my sight, I didn't think it would happen this soon. If I don't make the time to tell them tomorrow, I may not have time before it's too late.' Aloysius admitted, tangling their hands together and squeezing. 'We have enough to live very comfortably for the rest of our lives; I thought we could spend the next couple of years just seeing the world before it's too late.'  
'Whatever you want to do, I'll be right here.' Rufus promised, brushing a soft kiss across Aloysius' forehead. 'I love you, no matter what happens.'  
'I love you too, you and no other.' Aloysius replied, knowing that he would have the strength to get up and keep going so long as Rufus was with him. 'I really am sorry about ruining lunch and breaking our good china.'  
'Meals and china can be replaced; I'm more worried about you.' Rufus corrected, bringing Aloysius' hands up and checking the damage. 'You go get cleaned up, and I'll see what can be done about a meal. As for the china, we can always get a new set made.'  
'I cleaned up the mess and salvaged what I could of lunch.' Aloysius uttered, slipping out of Rufus' grasp and standing. 'I promise I'll make it up to you.'  
'It can wait. Go get cleaned up, you're a mess.' Rufus grinned, getting to his feet and heading towards the kitchen.


	2. Admission

Definitely looking the worse for wear, Rufus slung one arm around Aloysius' shoulders as they wandered into Mother's backyard to join the party. The bruising had bloomed out into a spectacular mask shape, ringing his eyes and spilling onto his cheeks. A simple pair of sunglasses hid most of it but Rufus knew he was still going to be asked what had happened.  
'well hey, look who turned up!' Mother called, spotting the pair and walking over to greet them.  
'I said we'd try, Mother. We had some time off for a change.' Aloysius shrugged, giving her a quick hug before heading to grab them both a beer.  
'what happened to you Rufus?' she asked, spotting the bruising and frowning.  
'we had a minor disagreement yesterday.' Rufus replied, removing his sunnies so Mother could see the extent. 'it's fine, these things happen.'  
'I should kick his ass for that.' Mother growled, glancing over to where Aloysius was chatting with Shane, beer in hand.  
'not the wisest idea right now, Mother. He's dealing with some issues right now, just leave him be.' Rufus warned, resting one hand on her shoulder. 'we'll explain later, give him some time to relax.'  
'alright.' Mother nodded, still wary but she would follow Rufus' lead on this one.

Sipping his beer and listening to Shane talking about his latest mission, Aloysius wasn't really paying a lot of attention. He was still thinking about the report burning a hole in his pocket. He had to face up to it but he didn't want to admit that he was going to lose so much. He would have to quit working and learn to let someone else guide his steps. He knew he could trust Rufus to never make a big deal of his condition but he didn't know how far he could trust the others with this.  
'something wrong, Knight?' Shane asked, nudging him gently.  
'huh? Sorry Scarecrow, just thinking.' Aloysius shrugged, shaking off his thoughts. 'got something big on my mind, it's okay.'  
'you wanna talk about it?' Shane offered, draining his beer and looking around slowly.  
'it's nothing you can help with, Scarecrow.' Aloysius sighed, watching Rufus for a moment. 'we got into a fight yesterday. It was my fault, never should have let things get out of hand like that.'  
'you slugged Rufus? I hope he at least repaid the kindness.' Shane remarked, watching Rufus for a few seconds.  
'that's not his style. He knows I can be a little aggressive at times. We talked about it last night, after we'd both cooled off. He forgave me again and I promised I'd try harder.' Aloysius shrugged, showing Shane his bruised knuckles. 'it doesn't matter how bad I get, Rufus will never fight back against me, he knows he's stronger and could easily kill with one blow.'

Grabbing a beer and sending the cap flying into the half wine barrel that Mother used as a bin out the back, Rufus grinned and waved to Buck before coming up behind Aloysius and tugging on the chain poking out of Aloysius' collar. Swatting at Rufus' hand, Aloysius grinned and relaxed back against him, fully aware that Shane was staring at the hand now resting on his hip.  
'six years, Scarecrow. We're used to hiding it, take it as a sign we're totally relaxed.' Aloysius explained, resting his hand over Rufus' lightly.  
'I'm surprised Mother hasn't commented.' Shane remarked, glancing over to where Mother was standing, watching the three men.  
'I told her to leave Aloysius be for the moment. She wanted to kick his ass for punching me in the face but I think I convinced her to leave it.' Rufus added, lowering his glasses so Shane could see the damage done.  
'she's still considering it though. She's just waiting to see what's going on.' Aloysius shrugged, sipping his beer and tangling their fingers together. 'relax Scarecrow, there won't be any blood spilled here.'  
'mainly because you're still hurting and I am a man of my word.' Rufus teased, quite enjoying the slow pace of the day.

-)=+=+=(-

Laughing and having a good time as they gathered around the table to eat, the friends were merrily swapping stories, passing food and generally relaxing in good company. It was easy to forget about their troubles as they joked around and caught up on what they'd missed since the last time they could all sit down and talk. Passing food and careful not to drink too much, it was just another wonderful Saturday afternoon.

Shane was talking about his latest batch of recruits, going on about their poor discipline and tardy displays whenever they were in front of the command staff. Three times Shane had called the entire company out for remedial training and still they were slacking off and lagging behind the rest of the intake.  
'well, at least you're not going blind.' Aloysius remarked, chewing on a mouthful of onions as everyone turned to stare at him.  
'I can't believe you just said that.' Rufus uttered, hiding his face behind one hand.  
'…oh fuck…I didn't mean to say that.' Aloysius groaned, hanging his head.  
'it's out now.' Rufus shrugged, slipping one arm around his back. 'might as well go all the way now that you've gotten it out in the open.'

Holding up one hand to forestall the questions, Aloysius looked down at his lap for a few moments before lifting his eyes and looking around the table slowly.  
'yeah, I've got something to tell you all. I had my annual eye tests yesterday and the news isn't good. If the dystrophy continues as it is at the moment, I'll be legally blind in two years. There's a five percent chance I'll retain some severely impaired vision but no chance of me continuing with life without major changes.' Aloysius admitted, hanging his head sadly.  
'that's what the fight was about, he was feeling vulnerable and acted out of frustration and pain.' Rufus added, drawing Aloysius closer. 'I don't blame him for it, I should have been ready.'  
'well at least I know what I'll be getting for my 38th birthday. A white fucking cane.' Aloysius growled, his anger at the situation growing again.  
'knock it off.' Rufus warned, smacking Aloysius across the back of the head.

Leaning over to whisper something to Mother, Ralph set another platter of meat on the table and headed inside. He came back a few minutes later with a long, slim box in his hands. Coming around the table, he tapped Knight on the shoulder and offered out the old leather box.  
'I never got the chance to say thanks for keeping my wife safe during the trouble that brought you into her life. I don't know the full story and I'd rather keep it that way. That said, I want you to have this as a sign of my gratitude for making sure she came home safely.' Ralph offered, glancing over to Mother for a moment.  
'best you don't know all those details.' Aloysius nodded, curling his hands around the box. 'thank you Ralph, this is very kind.'  
'open it before you say that.' Mother grinned, recognising the box and hoping Aloysius didn't take offence at the gift inside.

Setting the box on his lap, Aloysius eased the lid off and peered inside, brow creasing in confusion for a moment before he stood and lifted the contents out, handing the empty box to Rufus. In his hand he held a set of dark timber rods, a thick black cord running between the ends. Over the surface, swirling lines traced their way along the rods, the lines picked out in white to make them stand out.

Finding the top end, Aloysius curled his fingers through the loop of cord and tugged even as he let the rest of the rods fall from his hand. With a clatter, the cord pulled the rods into line, revealing the full beauty of this ornately decorated cane. It really was something special and Aloysius could feel that it had seen plenty of use before him. The handle was smooth and almost satin like under his palm.  
'thank you, it's perfect.' Aloysius smiled, releasing the tension on the cord and gathering up the collapsible cane.  
'at least I know it's going to a good home.' Ralph nodded, shaking Knight's offered hand. 'it's been in the attic for years, it's good to see it getting some use again.'  
'I'll take care of it Ralph.' Aloysius promised, tucking it back in the box safely.  
'I would have thought a dog more your style.' Buck remarked, reaching for another steak.  
'there's nothing saying he can't have both.' Rufus replied, tucking Aloysius in against his side again. 'but right now, getting a dog is out of our reach.'  
'I already checked into that, I've been keeping tabs on the latest gear to help the blind since I turned thirty. I'm not eligible to even apply for a guide dog until I'm legally blind. As my vision fades, I'll have to get used to the cane or rely on Rufus to keep from running into anything or tripping over stuff.' Aloysius shrugged, looking around at his friends slowly.

No one seemed to know what to think as they watched Aloysius leave the table and wander down towards the back of the yard. Sighing softly, Rufus shook his head and pulled his eyes away from the depressing sight up the back.  
'it's going to be rough for the next couple of years. This morning he was planning what we'll do for the next two years. Now he's about as low as he can get, struggling with the realisation of what he'll lose. Give him a few hours and he'll be back to working on what he wants to see and do before it goes dark on him.' Rufus explained, shaking his head slowly. 'yesterday he went from angry to withdrawn, depressed and eventually the emotional strain knocked him out.'  
'are you going to be able to keep up with him?' Buck asked, glancing back towards Aloysius just to make sure he was still there.  
'it's not a case of "can I", it's a case of "I must" keep up with him. I have to be his anchor and his protection as his world crumbles. He needs me to be there for him, no matter how hard it gets, I can't just walk away. Whatever comes up, he needs me at his side.' Rufus shrugged, going back to his meal but constantly keeping one eye on Aloysius. 'we'll ride this emotional rollercoaster together. I've stuck with him through more dangerous things than this.'  
'aren't you concerned he'll lash out again?' Mother asked, leaning forward a little more.  
'there's every chance he will but I don't care. He's stuck by me when I was struggling, he was there when I needed someone to care and help me survive. The least I can do is be there when he needs someone to help and care. If that means I have to catch a few punches or get into a wrestling match until he's burned off his anger, so be it. It's a small price to pay to keep him safe and grounded.' Rufus nodded, absently rubbing one bruised cheek.  
'is there anything we can do to help?' Shane asked, also watching Aloysius as he slumped to the ground, back to the quietly talking group.  
'nah, it's not your responsibility Shane. He's my partner, it's my job to get him through this.' Rufus sighed, finishing his meal and standing. 'I won't throw away six years just because we've been confronted with this. This doesn't change how I feel about him.'

Leaving their friends to figure out exactly what he meant, Rufus jogged down to the back corner, dropping down beside Aloysius and pulling him into a loving embrace. Rocking slowly, whispering tender words of support and comfort, Rufus held him close and let him cry it out, the shock still tearing at him. Usually it took a lot to break Aloysius' carefully maintained façade but this mess was pulling at him in the worst way.

It tore at Rufus too, all their grand plans were out the window now but his life would continue much as it always had. He could get on with what he'd always enjoyed but everything that Aloysius enjoyed so much would be stolen from him.  
'I don't get it. I knew this would happen but it's too early. Dad lost his at 47 and his father went blind at 41.' Aloysius uttered, tucking his head under Rufus' chin comfortably.  
'I wish I had all the answers.' Rufus sighed, absently rubbing Aloysius' back. 'it's going to be okay though, I'll be right here every step of the way.'  
'I don't deserve you.' Aloysius remarked, tightening his grip on Rufus and trying to get even closer.  
'you deserve the very best. You'll just have to settle for me though.' Rufus grinned, trying to lighten the mood a little bit.  
'you are the best Rufus, you put up with me no matter what I do wrong.' Aloysius sighed, relaxing a little more and burying a yawn in Rufus' chest.  
'you didn't sleep much last night, did you?' Rufus asked, choosing not to mention how many times Aloysius' restless behaviour had woken him.  
'I tried but I kept hearing what the specialist said.' Aloysius nodded, rubbing gritty eyes and settling again. 'I'm not ready for this.'  
'shh, we don't have to make all the preparations right now. We have time to sort out what we'll do. Everything will work out in the end.' Rufus promised, brushing a soft kiss across Aloysius' forehead. 'if you're tired, curl close and rest. I'll keep you safe.'  
'I still have some dignity.' Aloysius groused but he did shift into a more comfortable position and relax his grip a little.  
'no one will care. You're under a lot of stress right now, they won't make a big deal of it.' Rufus soothed, idly toying with Aloysius' hair where it curled against the back of his neck. 'you're exhausted, I can tell.'  
'not like this. Allow me some dignity.' Aloysius insisted, half asleep but he was fighting it.  
'alright, whatever you want.' Rufus agreed, trying to avoid another incident like yesterday. 'I'll keep you safe, it's time for you to try and rest.'

Hoisting Aloysius to his feet and accepting the helping hand up, Rufus smiled softly as Aloysius tangled their fingers together. Without really thinking about it, Rufus led Aloysius inside and settled him on the couch, putting his boots safely under the coffee table and flicking his jacket over Aloysius' shoulders.  
'get some sleep, I'll be just outside if you need anything.' Rufus uttered, lightly stroking Aloysius' hair. 'things will seem better after you've had some sleep.'  
'hope so.' Aloysius mumbled, looking up at Rufus with a faint smile. 'so long as the last thing I see is your smile.'  
'every time you close your eyes.' Rufus grinned, falling in love all over again.  
'with that promise, I can handle anything.' Aloysius yawned, slipping his glasses off and rolling over to hide his face in the cushions.  
'sleep well.' Rufus whispered, brushing a loving kiss behind Aloysius' ear before standing and leaving him to rest.


End file.
